So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
