why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
