He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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