His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
