I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
