Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize