The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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