Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
