I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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