the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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