My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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