New invention idea: vibrating tampons
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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