After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can text with my tongue
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
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Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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