He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
