apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
