yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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