just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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