I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
