So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
