Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
