I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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