i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize