i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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