how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
