u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
now i know why i became what i already was.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
