he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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