Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
