threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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