Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
