Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize