We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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