Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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