Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
