I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
