And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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