the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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