Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so let's talk penis.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
