The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize