i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
