Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
