there was a trapeze. enough said
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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