What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize