Christians are straight up FREAKS
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
