I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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