I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
