I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
