So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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