mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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