His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
