id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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