This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
