haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
