Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
