so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
