Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
