i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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