The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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