I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
