After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
