Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
