My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
