He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
