It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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