VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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